Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
