btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
