My pussy is not your playground.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
