I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
