That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
