Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
