You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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