quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
