i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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