He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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