I cockslap morals
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
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