I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize