I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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