Whod you bang
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
