My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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