So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She bit a glass in half.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
