just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
