just come out here and I will go home with you...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize