So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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