he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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