I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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