Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed

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(201): View more from New Jersey

so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?

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(518): View more from New York

med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.

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(303): View more from Colorado

It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?

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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

Where the hell are you

(706): View more from Georgia

He's winning.

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(813): View more from Florida

My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars

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(765): View more from Indiana

Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.

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