he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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