either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize