I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
