Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
