just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
