thus making me awesome and them whores
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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