I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
