Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
