Grow some girl-balls and come out already
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
