Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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