You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
