I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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