dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
