Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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