You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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