Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
