Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
