Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
