You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Don't make out with my wife yet
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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