Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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