I must be too annoying 4 u.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize