Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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