guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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