I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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