Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
