and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize