She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
