i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
