okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize