forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
