what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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