Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
