all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
