She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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