Whod you bang
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
