3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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