She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Found the puke drawer
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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