look no pants
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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