I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize