If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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