i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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