how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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