none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
