Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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