fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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