someone get that fucking seahorse.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
