She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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