you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
