he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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