I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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