Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I could make wine with my vomit
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Randomize
